I was just talking with my friend about how we find the majority of trans (and ND) headcanons really offputting b/c those headcanons are so often forced to exist in a shipping context exclusively, which ends up with a lot of attention being drawn to "is a person who is xyz attractive to others" as a core conflict. And I've just never been about that as a trans person. My gender or lack thereof is my business, first and foremost, y'know? So yeah, I also definitely prefer writing queer-adjacent narratives without getting bogged down on whether or not it's an one-to-one allegory, I write a lot of polynormative stuff and gender-indifferent stuff b/c that is the shape of conflict I'm interested in. I don't really need to dwell on the conflict of whether someone approves of their partner's gender or identity, I take it as a given that they do or else they wouldn't have kept dating.