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something i learned from taking a wrong turn on twitter and spending the past week and a half engrossed in Exclus Disc Horse 2: Electric Boogaloo is that a lot of this boils down to just one thing.

Nonbinary people existing makes sexuality REALLY FUCKING COMPLICATED (well, more complicated then it was before lol) and a lot of people just kind of want us to go away or stop talking about the complexity so that they can bash us into the mold they're used to

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From:

palominocorn

"I'm attracted to you but I need to prove to myself that I'm still Full Gay."

Alternatively, "I'm not attracted to you and I need to prove that it's because of social justice and not because attraction is weird and complicated and maybe I'm kinda-sorta a bigot around gender."

Or, the one I got hit with the loudest as the genderqueer partner of a "cis" person, "I need my gayness to be an elite club, keep those dirty queers away from me."

I don't even know what exclusionist bullshit you ran into but it's all the same anyway lmao.

From:

stardust_rifle

It was a combo breaker of "Hey, I identify as a bi lesbian to indicate that I'm bisexual (attracted to multiple genders, in this case, women and non-binary people) while not being attracted to men"- NO NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT LESBIAN AS A TERM IS TOTALLY INCLUSIVE OF ALL NONBINARY PEOPLE EVERYWHERE

and "Hey, I'm multigender while also being monosexual, so I identify as straight gay/straight lesbian"- NO NO JUST ID AS BISEXUAL DESPITE BEING MONOSEXUAL

From:

feotakahari

"I'm attracted to you but I need to prove to myself that I'm still Full Gay."

I've seen people quote older queer texts where this didn't even matter. You could, for instance, be a gay man and have sex with a trans lesbian and both still consider yourselves gay.

From:

palominocorn

Yep, you're right. Orientation is complicated and weird and is never going to fit within the confines of language, and people acknowledged that.

But y'know, if we all accepted that "gay" is a big wide label full of nuance and confusion and every gay person interprets it differently, radfems and their foot soldiers have to find some other way to harass people to exclude them.