(no subject)

[stardust_rifle]

There's something really interesting I've noticed about the reactions of people around me to me Being A They/Them since my move from Blue City In Purple State to Solid Blue City In Solid Blue State, and it's that people tend to treat me like a person.

There's the lack of "gets transphobicly street harassed by random guys" and "gets deliberately misgendered repeatedly" that's pretty obvious, but even in Former City, while there were still progressive people, I was often the first nonbinary, or even the first openly trans, person they'd ever met, so people would frequently just wind up overthinking the interaction, trying desperately not to be offensive, or worse, using me as a prop to demonstrate how Progressive and Accepting and Trans-Positive they are.

In Current City, I am frequently not the first they/them people have encountered, or the first person with an ambiguous presentation. People have social scripts for handling nonbinaries and genderqueers, and I get less of the "I shall use M, who is literally just a normal cat trying to live their life, as a canvas to demonstrate how much of a #ally I am" shit".

It's nice.

Comments

[palominocorn]

In my experience (he/she in a solidly blue area who doesn't usually bother coming out), I've found three types of people:

-Those who, despite living for years or decades in a progressive, open minded area, somehow have kept themselves completely shut off from queer stuff. While I'm sure they've met trans people they refuse to learn, so they act like I'm abusing them when I explain the most basic trans things. Thankfully I've only met a couple of these, but also I'm aware that I naturally gravitate toward places they don't feel welcome.

-The people who have met trans people and have a general understanding, but seem to trip over the slightly more complicated concept of "he/she" or "genderqueer in a way that's not an intermediate third gender". They'll accept me just fine if I let them think I'm a cis queer, or binary trans, or even third gender androgynous, but the idea that I'm man and woman and both and neither is too much for them. They'll ask my pronouns, hear "I use he and she", and them refer to me as they/them for the rest of time. They don't harass me like the first group, but I wouldn't call them accepting or understanding.

-The people who may or may not actually understand my gender stuff, but who accept me for the complex person I am and just... let me exist. Some of them use she, some use he, some use both, and it's fine. They don't usually bring my gender up.

[phantasmalpoison]

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[stardust_rifle]

I am so brainrotted by JPN Jojo Twitter that I was like “…Dio Brando?” before I saw what entry of mine you were responding to.

(Stage 1 of SBR was really fun, it sure would be nice to see more episodes. It's a sports anime!!)

[phantasmalpoison]

I hate sticking to just a red heart, and <3 has a different flavour that is not always what I'm trying to say, there is a subtle difference that's simply impossible to explain, but there's so often code implied by different colours and I cannot win.

But also, yes, of course, Dio Brando, always <3



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