(no subject)

[stardust_rifle]

I have two fundamental impulses in my brain.

One of them believes that if anyone has been nice to me...like...more than twice, then we are best friends forever.

The other impulse believes that if anyone around me is expressing so much as vague annoyance at anything, then they secretly hate me.

I'm quickly learning that the key to basic social interaction is desperately beating both of these impulses back with a baseball bat while carefully moderating my speech so that I seem as Friendly and Nonthreatening and Casual as possible.

Comments

[redthedragon]

to be honest (and also like hi, same bad social brain!!!) i'm pretty sure they're actually the same response, just like the "nice" vs "mean" versions of it haha. I've been calling it "emotional impermanence" to go along with my object permanence issues because I also notice it with other responses to things, too unfortunately

[stardust_rifle]

*makes "same badbrains" gesture*

oh, that's super interesting as an idea! would you care to elaborate about the other responses? because i mostly see them as less of the same thing and more of two sides of the same coin (the name of that coin is "m never learned to set proper boundaries") maybe it's same presentation different issue?

[redthedragon]

I'm very bad at keeping track of relationships in general, and tend to just assume that whatever the last couple interactions i had with a person were like were and/or are consistent across the entire relationship, even though that's obviously untrue. So I'll literally think of people and go "oh, that's my friend who likes memes" or something just because we've spoken about memes Once, but it was a recent conversation compared to one where they, for example, said something about how they can't stand certain kinds of meme-speak because they find it annoying.
It also tends to really derail my relationships sometimes, because if I haven't spoken to someone in a while, and we speak and are like "hey i havent spoken to you in a while" i will decide we are not friends any more because obviously we never ever speak. the last time this happened, the friend i did it with was busy for about three days lmao. and then i was like "oh i have been ABANDONED we're defintely not friends. you hate me" and she was just like "no i just have stuff, would you chill" and it was very embarrassing