a response to an otherwise-good tumblr post

[stardust_rifle]

"All neurodivergencies are invisible disabilities" is kind of an oversimplification, IMO. Just speaking from experience, while my position on the visible/invisible disability spectrum (which is a topic for another day) fluctuates, there have definitely been scenarios where I'm walking around with big, bulky, noise-canceling headphones, sunglasses indoors, while carrying a stuffed animal.

Someone who looks at me might not go "Oh, they're autistic", but they will notice that Something's Up, and this definitely carries over to the way I get treated by other people.

Comments

[stardust_rifle]

That's super interesting. And don't worry, you made sense.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the difference is that I'm pretty tight-lipped about my own neurodivergence in personal conversation- I really don't tell anyone that I'm autistic unless it comes up naturally.

My sensory issues have been continuously flagged, by family members, by friends, by literally anyone else, as a "Oh, M's being weird again"- I think only one person (who was probably also autistic himself, clocked me as One Of Us) in my whole lifetime.

My mannerisms (the way I walk, speak, hold my body) when I'm not actively masking get me read as, again, r-word, so I don't know what they mean. Same thing with my math difficulties.

Everything else, no one's commented on (except, you know, therapists) because I go to great lengths to keep my other Weird Brain Stuff hidden from other people, so I don't know how they would have flagged me.

[palominocorn]

Yeah, that would do it - people who already know something is up brainwise are more likely to think ND rather than weird.

I have no idea how the way I walk gets read, actually? I have three distinct normal walk styles, plus how I walk with pain. I know that the walking is related to brain stuff. Most people probably think it's a trans thing. (I've been paying attention to my own mannerisms lately, but not long enough to have good data on them.)

I've found that therapists and other mental health professionals are no better than the general public at clocking things. I have straight-up read off my symptoms in a way to make them understand that I have XYZ, and they'll brush me off or come to the completely incorrect conclusion.

I still work hard to keep the psychosis and the harmful parts of the personality disorders hidden (because those give people *reasonable* cause to be afraid of me hurting them, as opposed to everything else I have). The psychosis is easier, but I know I've let the PD stuff slip through.