stardust_rifle

I can remember reading some Vampire AU for some like...shitty gatcha mobile game and it was dumb and melodramatic and the writer didn't seem to have a very good grasp on like...rules of grammar but there was always one scene that stuck with me.

So, some context. This verse's vampires can regenerate from pretty much anything, even having their head cut off, but if they regenerate their head, they lose all their memories because they have to grow fresh neurons.

The story starts with the protagonist waking up next to the dead body of some guy he doesn't know and his own severed head. As the story goes on, he learns that he used to be the servant of some really evil vampire, the guy he didn't know was actually the human love of his life, who the really evil vampire tricked him into killing.

As the story progresses, he falls in love with this other dude, and together, they defeat the really evil vampire's mate (who wants to avenge their husband's death) and the romance is melodramatic as fuck, but it's still cute...

And then, when the vampire protagonist activates his "super mode" (basically in this universe vampires can tap into insane levels of power/bloodlust if they eat the flesh of a virgin) in order to defeat the evil vampire's mate...

but he loses control of himself and kills his human boyfriend. The final chapter ends with him staring down at his boyfriend's dead body.

And he rips his head off. And at the end of the chapter, he wakes up right where he started- in the middle of nowhere, lying down next to the body of a man he doesn't recognize and his own severed head.

And just like at the start of the story, he just walks away.

I know that I titled the draft of my "M Projects Their Genderfeels Onto A Long-Dead Japanese Rock Musician" fic "THIS IS CERTAINLY A HEALTHY COPING MECHANISM" but like...

I mean, it's better than browsing Nazi forums or being depressed (i mean jk i'm still depressed but at least i'm less depressed for that specific reason)

I just thought it was kind of a stupid way to process my own gender feelings, but, like, cringe culture is dead and all that, and I think I've been using my vkei fic to process my own genderfeels for a while now (What'd You Do To Me Tonight and Slime Flies When You're Having Fun are the most blatant examples, I think)

okay so one of the muses decided that he didn't like the Tragic Beautiful End i had planned for him. now he wants to survive the Vampire Apocalypse and be the feral queer vodka aunt to all of the younger vamps.

goddamnit.

Random Splintered Silver fact- Taiji is Aro As Hell and basically spent the majority of his human life thinking of romantic attraction as being exclusively a woman thing.

He was quickly disavowed of this notion when he wound up getting turned by Yoshiki and spending the next hundred years of his life around Yoshiki and hide, a.k.a the most blatantly romantic gay* vampire couple around.

*the gay asterisk is here because of SS!hide's Gender Stuff

what i was bracing myself for when i started reading mdzs fic: Bad Wen Ning Opinions, Bad Mo Xuanyu Opinions, bad issuefic

what i should have been bracing myself for: Child Abuse Is Good When A Woman Does It, Actually

Started reading KnB fic again.

Pleasantly surprised to find trans girl!Reo, but disappointed that I seem to be seeing loads of "You don't get a cookie for being a decent person" in regards to Akashi's Weird Empathy Shit.

out of all the jrock transfic i've read, there is precisely one fic (an nb!mana/kami fic) that i actually liked, and one (trans woman!kaya/issay) that i did not hate.

all of the others are utterly atrocious

Okay, so I finished Maps.

(I actually finished it a month ago, but I haven't gotten around to making this post.)

I haven't read any of the little one-shots, but I have read the entire 69-chapter work, and...

I liked it as a work of creative writing. It was very well-written and managed to evoke Emotions.

More, potentially-spoiler-y thoughts below the cut. CW for very, very brief discussion of suicide, psychiatric abuse, and partner abuse in the context of fiction.

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there's a lot of gazettE fic out there that's otherwise pretty good, but it has a tendency to refer to aoi as "the raven", and i can not get past that without utterly losing my shit picturing a fucking person-sized bird being involved in the particulars of whatever's going on in the fic